Let's Talk About: If feedback feels like an attack, you’re not ready to grow.
I gotta say it. Because I love you… but here's the deal...
Most people don’t hate feedback.
They hate feeling exposed.
(pause for the humans with clenched fists at the thought of being "exposed" to stop sweating… it’s just me)
Here’s the truth:
Hard conversations aren’t the problem.
Avoiding them is.
Most people walk around terrified of saying the wrong thing or hearing the hard thing. They armor up. They get defensive. They shut down, lash out, or ghost entirely. I know I've done all of these things. BUT I also learned from all these things. I grew from the discomfort.
Communication doesn’t break down because we speak too directly.
It breaks down because we avoid being real.
This recently happened to me. I was doing what I thought was noble by protecting someone and wanting to shield them from the reality of the situation and of the way they were affecting it. Yeah, it ended poorly. BUT what surprised me was how unwilling to hear feedback this person was, which was likely why I was avoiding giving it.
Honestly, TAKE IT TO THE CHIN.
Being open to feedback is one of the most underrated leadership flexes of all time.
But I have to say, I think it's one of the greatest character traits I've cultivated. And one that has, without a doubt, gotten me the farthest and made the biggest impact on my success.
However, I know this skill is one of the hardest to build.
Because being open means:
You might get called out.
You might be wrong.
You might have to grow.
But you know what else it means?
You get better.
You become trustworthy.
You build relationships based on truth, not performance.
And that changes everything.
Because defensiveness is the enemy of connection.
Here’s the mindset shift:
Feedback isn’t personal. It’s directional.
It’s not about who you are, it’s about where you’re going.
(LOUDER TEAM, LOUDER!!!) Take it to the chin!!! Let’s GOOOOO! 🔥
So if you want to level up, build deeper trust, or lead like a damn pro, here’s your challenge this week:
Ask for real feedback.
What's one thing I could do better?
Where do you wish I'd show up differently?
What's one blind spot I don 't see?
Then shut up. Sorry to go middle schooler on you, but seriously—just SHHHHH.
Don’t explain. Don’t defend.
Just listen. Reflect. Then choose your next move with intention.
You don’t need to agree with feedback. You need to hear it. (insert long stare)
Want help making hard conversations easier—and more productive?
Reply with the last time communication broke down, and I’ll send you my favorite reframe for turning tension into traction.
ACTUALLY YOU CAN, CUTIE. STOP TAKING IT SO PERSONALLY!
Gotta go, I'm in London about to go see ABBA at The London Theatre with my best friend!!!!! But also, one last time: take. it. to. the. chin.
Own it. Use it. Send it.