Let's Talk About: Hyper Vigilance is *not* your super power
Did I touch a nerve? I KNOW, I KNOW.
Reckless Optimists—let’s name what’s real:
We’ve been conditioned to believe that staying alert is staying safe.
American society, constant connection, always being on. WOOF.
Last night in our Momentum Method call, this struck a chord.
Our very own superhero Josh said, "If I know what's coming, I can be prepared.”
And my heart clenched, there was a collective gasp from the group and then slow nodding—because I’ve been there SO HARD. We all have and some of us are still there.
During COVID, when my phone rang, it was either:
The moment my mom was passing away, or
That we were being shut down again.
Add in some toxic turnover, team chaos I had to stay hyper-aware and ahead of, and, oh yeah—the news? COOKED.
We’ve been trained to think that checking the news, refreshing email, being reachable 24/7, and staying “ahead of everything” is what strong, responsible people do.
ME? A MARTYR? Noooooo, stop, I couldn’t…
(Put me in, Coach!)
I prided myself on always being available.
Always being the hero in the crisis.
Carrying the weight of every decision.
Being the strong one...
Being a real leader, right???????
No, girl. No.
On the outside we present as strong but here is an actual photo of me peak hyper vigilance stage (on the inside) CUTE RIGHT?!
SO TEAM - Here’s what it REALLY is: nervous system hyper vigilance. And it’s very, very real.
Post-pandemic, a lot of high-functioning people live in a state of anticipatory stress—constantly checking phones, scanning for problems, bracing for the next hit.
It feels like responsibility.
But it’s actually a trauma-adapted survival strategy.
I say ALL this with the utmost love, deepest compassion, and as your ride-or-die who was there, who got to the other side, and who is now aggressively cheering for you to hit pause and come to the light with me.
Let me offer you this:
Hyper vigilance isn’t your power move.
It’s your nervous system trying to outrun chaos.
And listen, I know it’s gotten you far.
That alertness probably made you a top performer.
It probably helped you survive hard things.
But it’s also exhausting you.
And it’s not the energy that will build your next chapter.
Real power isn’t panic.
It’s presence.
And please know:
You’re not addicted to your phone—your nervous system is looking for control.
And honestly? That makes sense.
But there is another way.
Consistency doesn’t require pressure. (The hard kind. The pressure-cooker kind.)
Momentum doesn’t require overdrive.
You can move boldly—and stay grounded.
Your Midweek Challenge:
Find one moment this week where you’d normally stay ON… and intentionally turn OFF.
Like, uncomfortable OFF-OFF.
Like silence, slow, still.
(aka: my hell… until I calmed my system.)
Set your phone to Do Not Disturb for one hour
Walk without a podcast or playlist
Delay your email replies by 30 minutes
Breathe before reacting
Protect your mornings like a creative sanctuary
Identify your “Baseline Calm”—so you know who/what/where to return to when your nervous system is jacked UP
This isn’t about doing less.
It’s about doing it differently.
It’s about rebuilding your nervous system to match the life you’re designing.
I did it.
It took work to be calm. To be still. To trust. To heal.
But it’s possible.
I’m still L I V I N G at 100%—still going ALL IN.
But now? It’s centered. It’s grounded.
Not the woo-woo version of calm.
I’m just not in fight-or-flight anymore.
Because calm?
That’s leadership.
That’s personal power.
That’s what sustainable momentum actually looks like.
I WANT THIS FOR YOU SO BADLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hit reply and tell me:
Do we want to do a monthly salon on this???
What does “calm on purpose” look like for you?
Will you f*ckers email me back?
These aren't rhetorical questions.
You leaving me on read?
Rude. :)
Let’s normalize it. Let’s claim it. Let’s rebuild from it.
“Reckless Optimists, not because we don’t think anything’s in our way, but because we know exactly what’s in our way… and we keep going because of it.”
– Me. I said that. And I mean it.
LOVE YOU ALL!
Jessi