Let's Talk About: You’re Not the Problem—But You’re Not the Point Either.
CHECK YOURSELF NEWSLETTER COMIN IN HOT!
Because we all NEED that friend! In fact, if my inner circle doesn't call me out to call me up, then I don't want it!!! SOOOOO stepping in as your REAL friend to say.......
Let’s talk about ego—but not the fluffy, TED Talk version.
Let’s talk about what happens when you confuse being self-aware… with being self-absorbed.
Because we’ve all done it. Yep, you and me and we. All of us.
You send a text → no response → they must be mad.
You speak up in a meeting → silence → you must sound stupid.
Someone sets a boundary → you spiral → you must be too much.
Babe. BABE. BAAAAABE.
It’s not always about you.
And that’s the best news ever (!!!!!!)
This is ego work, not in the “you need to be humbled” sense.
But in the “you deserve to feel lighter” sense.
And yes, recognizing your place with humility is the cheat code.
The greatest leaders & entrepreneurs I know, the Navy SEALs of community & optimism, my parents, raised us with the humility to know we'd never 'arrive' and that wherever we are, we didn't get there alone. They also raised us to know we'd never age out of mistakes and that gratitude is THE mother tongue and the birthplace of all virtues. I know that was a lot but that's all I've known and all I ever want to know.
Because when your ego is overgrown, everything feels personal.
But when you shrink it down to size?
You get access to truth. Peace. Creativity. Curiosity. Growth.
(Louder for the folks in the back!!!)
This is what we mean when we say perspective is power.
And it’s the core of The Reckless Optimists movement:
→ You don’t grow by gripping tighter to who you think you are.
→ You grow by zooming out, softening the edges, and seeing the bigger damn picture.
From the perspective we get on retreats to the perspective we get from each other.
And you can get it right now, if you’re willing to get over yourself, just a little.
“When you stop centering yourself, you finally get access to all of you.” - Us, The Reckless Optimists, we said that.
(Sorry but I can't quote myself yet, maybe it's an ego thing about having an inflated ego?) so for now - WE SAID THAT AND WE MEAN IT.
(Real Talk) I work with people A LOT, my entire professional life and actually even before has been entirely based on people. And the ones that go and grow, can check their ego. The ones that can't get past things or stages - that are stuck. They aren't willing to see it ALL.
Ego work isn't for the faint of heart. It means you will be wrong. It means you aren't the victim. It means you looking at your default story and deciding to change it.
I like to call it Healing for Hellraisers™ (I'm ACTUALLY BUILDING A WORKBOOK ON WHAT WORKED FOR ME!!!) to get over myself and get to know myself again, with compassion and inquiry and with a wiser more expanded perspective. Is that something you all would like??? ANSWER ME!!!!
I mean, I did call you all out for leaving me on read last week and I'm sorry I called you f*ckers but also you ALLLLLLLLLLL responded and then we got to have a two way dialogue and YES PLEASE!!!
OK OK OK LET'S GET INTO ACTION -
Here are a few bite-sized ways to right-size your ego this week:
Take the L without explanation. You’re human. Congrats.
Don’t reply right away. You’re not responsible for everyone’s discomfort.
Celebrate someone else out loud. Not as a strategy—just as a flex.
Ask what else might be true. This is the shortcut to peace.
Stop trying to win the room. Start trying to see the room.
You are not your last mistake.
You are not the center of the universe.
You are not above being wrong.
And you are so much more than the story your ego keeps recycling.
Your ego is not the main character.
You are.
Now go live like it.
Jessi