Let's Talk About: REALNESS ISN'T FRAGILE
Hello Reckless Optimists,
Am I the only one that’s yet again at another impasse in life?
It seems to happen annually, or even twice a year lately—like a recalibration we didn’t ask for but apparently need... phew. I thought it was just me.
Also, just dropping in on this newsletter after two weeks of yelling and pacing (for good reason, I’d argue), but I’m feeling more grounded this week and inviting you to join me.
SO, THE IMPASSES…
Maybe it’s age.
Maybe it’s grief.
Maybe it’s the fallout of uncrumpling an identity that was way too wrapped up in my career, my achievement, and being “the strong one.”
Whatever it is, this season of growth feels different.
It’s not just a collection of cute insights or dormant realizations I can quote in conversation or use to trick myself into thinking I’m doing the work.
Nope. This one’s more textured.
More demanding.
More applied.
It’s not theoretical, it’s dimensional and personal.
And I’m hellbent on making sure this growth actually lands in my life.
Not just in my mind. Not just in my journal. Not just in my ideas.
I want my life to look and feel different.
And what I’m learning again, and again, is this:
REALNESS ISN’T FRAGILE.
If you’re honest with yourself, you get access to your whole self.
Not just the curated parts.
Not just the polished, high-achieving, always-doing-the-right-thing parts.
But the actual human beneath the armor.
That access?
It gives you range.
It gives you resilience.
It gives you perspective that doesn’t crumble every time someone offers you a hard truth.
It’s the key to true, deep, come-at-me-life personal power.
Because here’s what I see over and over again:
People spiral when they get feedback not because they’re fragile, but because their sense of self is built on performance, not truth.
They cobra-strike, ghost, spiral, or defend their actions blindly and ferociously because they’ve never given themselves the chance to see that owning your flaws won’t break you.
So they try to control the narrative instead of expanding their understanding.
They confuse criticism with character assassination.
And in doing so, they miss the real power of being fully human.
I’m still guilty of it too.
But one thing about me?
I can take feedback like no other.
And it’s not easy—but lord have mercy, I wouldn’t trade that skill for anything.
Because when I do get out of line, I can see myself doing it right away, because it's not the norm. it's not my default. It's not who I am or who I want to be.
I can correct it.
I can learn from it.
And most importantly, I can get curious about it.
Let’s make it plain:
When you know who you are, because you’ve met all the messy, inconvenient, sometimes contradictory parts of yourself—you don’t flinch when life holds up a mirror.
You don’t spiral every time someone calls you out (or in).
You don’t break every time something doesn’t go your way.
You recalibrate.
You refine.
You move forward, maybe not immediately, maybe not perfectly, but with clarity.
Because you’re not protecting a false identity.
You’re honoring, accepting, and building a real one.
ASK YOURSELF THESE QUESTIONS:
What parts of you have you quietly disowned to keep the image intact?
What “mistakes” still have you by the throat?
What feedback hit too hard… because deep down, it rang true?
What if the path to energy, grit, compassion, creativity, and actual grounded confidence… was paved in honesty, not perfection?
HERE'S THE THING MOST PEOPLE GET WRONG:
They treat honesty like a threat.
They think if they admit the flaw, the misstep, the insecurity ,the whole thing will fall apart.
But when you’re rooted in realness, you don’t break.
You bend. You stretch. You adapt.
You move with clarity because you’re not performing—you’re grounded.
REALNESS ISN’T FRAGILE. I know I said I wasn't going to yell, but you're right there, right on the edge, at an impasse with me so can we just do the damn thing?
If you can look at all parts of yourself ,the wins and the wreckage—without spiraling or sugarcoating?
You’ve already won.
You’ve got access to your full self.
Because here’s the magic formula no one talks about:
Self-honesty + curiosity = unshakable power.
"When you know who you are, you know what to do" (THIS - THIS IS IT !!!!)
In the hard moment.
In the uncertain moment.
In the “WTF am I doing with my life” moment.
JOIN THE MOVEMENT — IN REAL LIFE.
We don’t just talk about this stuff, we build our lives around it.
And if you’re craving more of that in-person, full-soul, face-to-face kind of depth?
2026 retreat locations are dropping soon!!
IRL gatherings in Portland are brewing this summer!!
Yes. We heard you.
This movement is growing.
So if there’s someone in your life who needs this energy, forward this to them.
Tell them to get on the list.
To get in the room.
To stop circling the edges of their potential and step in.
Proud of you.
Rooting for you.
Growing right alongside you.
All IN,
JD