Getting Clear on What You Really Want
Hello, Reckless Optimists!
Thank you to SO many of you who gave me great answers to last week's email (!!!). That was fun! OK, NO TIME TO WASTE—JUMPING IN because we’re closing down March, and we’ve got momentum to build this year!
P.S. I have a plan for us to build momentum together. I LOVE talking to so many of you via DMs, email, in person, and via carrier pigeons (and all the things) about how to get you where you want to be. For the love of ALL of us wanting tangible momentum in 2025, I’ve got an idea to bring us together and dig in TOGETHER. I’ll send the details next week because you, me, and we are going to stop not doing it, get it together, and GO FOR IT!
*If 2025 is the year I can get my kids to stick to a chore routine, anything is possible, people.
OK OK OK—Let’s cut the BS. Do you actually know what you want?
Like, really want?
Not what sounds impressive.
Not what your parents would approve of.
Not what would make you look better in comparison.
Not what feels “realistic” or “smart” or “responsible.”
I mean the thing that lights you up so much you almost don’t want to admit it out loud because it feels too bold, too big, too audacious.
That thing.
Here’s the truth: Most people have no clue what they actually want. Not because they don’t have desires, but because they’re terrified to name them.
Because if you say it out loud, then what?
Then you might actually have to go after it.
Then you might have to face the fact that you’ve been playing small.
Then you might have to admit that the life you’re living… isn’t the one you really want.
And THAT is why most people avoid the question entirely.
You’re not stuck. You’re just stagnant. And stagnation can be solved by movement.
You’re not going to quit your job, leave your partner, or get bangs just because you answer this question (good god, calm down). But you will have unlocks. You will have MOVEMENT.
Start small. Microdose clarity. But for god’s sake—get clarity.
So, How Do You Actually Know What You Want?
Spoiler alert: It’s not by waiting for some mystical “aha” moment where the universe drops a neatly packaged life purpose into your lap.
WHAT? That’s rude, right? I know. WTF.
Nope. You figure out what you want by asking better questions and being brutally (or, as I call it, “little sister”) honest with yourself.
Try this:
💡 The No-BS Clarity Exercise
Grab a pen. Answer these:
The million-dollar question: If you had a million dollars in the bank and failure wasn’t an option, what would you go after?
If you had to do one thing for the next five years, what wouldn’t bore you?
What are you lowkey jealous of when you see other people doing it? (Hint: That’s desire in disguise.)
What’s the thing you’d keep doing even if no one paid or praised you for it?
What’s something you keep "meaning to start" but never actually do?
Now, before your brain jumps in with excuses—stop.
Because clarity isn’t the problem. Courage is.
The Reason You’re Stagnant Isn’t a Lack of Clarity—It’s a Lack of TRUST.
You already know what you want. But you’ve been waiting for someone to say:
“Yes, that’s a good idea.”
“Yes, that’s practical.”
“Yes, you have permission to go for it.”
But guess what? That’s not coming. No one’s going to give you permission. No one can guarantee anything.
But you can go find out.
And you have to take it.
This Week’s Challenge: Stop Waiting. Start Moving.
Step 1:
Pick one answer from the list above that hit you hardest. The one that made your stomach flip. The one that made you think, oh sh*t, it’s that one.*
Step 2:
Take one real but manageable step toward it this week. Not just thinking about it—doing something that puts skin in the game.
AKA STOP NOT DOING IT.
Examples:
Want to quit your job? → Update your resume. Ask ChatGPT how your skills translate.
Want to start writing? → Pick a topic. Write an essay. Write a short story. WRITE.
Want to move cities? → Research apartments. How much does it really cost to move?
Want to launch a business? → Buy the damn domain name.
Clarity comes through movement, not overthinking. Pick something and move.
The Reckless Resource
📺 7-Minute Video: Marie Forleo—"Get Clarity on Anything You Want with This Exercise"
Community Spotlight
BIG shoutout to our Reckless Optimist, Kate Reinmann—a Hawaii-based entrepreneur and the renegade founder of Rogue Wave Toys.
Her story is incredible—even before we get to the pivotal moment when she needed to get clear—like CLEAR, clear.
She actually tried to close her business. COVID challenges, supply chain delays, funding running out—all the things. She thought, I guess this is it… and emailed all her pre-order customers.
And to her surprise, instead of asking for refunds, they wrote back, saying they believed in her mission. They told her to keep going—that they were here to support her.
Deep down, Kate knew exactly what she wanted.
To bring this to life. To create change. To bring a plastic alternative mainstream.
95% of founders quit right before the turning point.
Kate sat with it. And she knew, in her gut, that calling it quits wasn’t in the cards. Her vision was too strong.
She had clarity. And she went all in.
Hell yes to Kate for GOING FOR IT—and seeing it through to the other side!
Pep Talk to Close It Out
Here’s the deal: If you don’t claim what you want, someone else will decide for you.
Your boss.
Your family.
Your fear.
Society.
The algorithm.
And you’ll wake up in five years wondering why your life doesn’t feel like your own.
F*ck that noise.
This is your permission slip. Name what you want. Own it. Move toward it.
No more waiting. No more “I don’t know.”
You do know.
You’ve always known.
You just have to be brave enough to say it—and reckless enough to go for it.
Now go make YOUR MOVE.
xo,
JD